The right way to manage teens’ screen time

All parents want their teens to use their screen time well. In reality though, parents need to be partners in their kids' digital content consumption - and not just around time limits.

“Smartphones are a third arm to many tweens and teens — it’s their whole lives,” says Pamela Hurst-Della Pietra, founder and president of Children and Screens: Institute of Digital Media and Child Development, a nonprofit organization focused on the impact of digital media on children. A 2015 Pew Research study found that nearly 1/4 of teens are online “almost constantly.” But Hurst-Della Pietra cautions that you can’t “simply take [their devices] away. And you can’t totally monitor their use.

Still, limits are essential. With the right tools and approach, parents can be less their kids' digital gatekeepers, and more their digital partners.

Why set limits?

At the recent national convention of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), a new recommendation was issued that capped daily screen time at 2 hours. That’s a lot less time than most teens currently spend online.

Neuroscientists argue that with too many hours of exposure, the so-called blue light emanating from digital devices can impact sleep patterns. Teens who spend significantly more than 2 hours per day glued to their screens are also at greater risk to suffer symptoms related to depression, compared to teens who get at least one hour of daily outdoor activity, according to the Journal of Mental Health and Activity.

Other studies indicate too much screen time can influence the depth and quality of teens’ personal relationships. “Many parents struggle with suddenly non-verbal children who seem to be distracted and not paying attention,” notes Hurst Della-Pietra. “They’re alarmed because when they were that age, they spent hours talking on the phone with their friends. Today’s kids text and interact over social media.”

Before cracking down on their kids' device usage, however, parents have to take a look in the mirror, according to Dr. Tom Brunner, a child psychologist and behavioral scientist. "Kids learn through modeling," he says. "You can't say to your kids, 'Don't do this,' when you regularly do it. Parents must model incredible restraint - not easy to do when the boss is texting you at dinnertime."

The contract.

Luckily, parents can lean on some innovative digital tools to help them manage their kids' screen time. Parental-control apps prevent kids from texting with strangers and accessing inappropriate content. Meantime, filters can be adjusted based on what parents consider age-appropriate for their kids.

Older teenagers, however, are likely to rebel against these kind of controls, viewing them as unwelcome interference. To combat this, both Dr. Brunner and Hurst Della-Pietra recommend creating a media contract with teens, outlining acceptable device usage and online behaviors.

"The contract should be specific and granular, laying out the ground rules for the kids' screen time," says Dr. Brunner. "For instance, my contract with our children (ages 10 and 12) stipulates absolutely no technology use at the dinner table, when we eat out together as a family, and when we're in the car."

While there may be more room for negotiation with teens, the document should still be considered the "source of truth." Teens must know that it's in their best interest to limit their screen time - for all the mentioned health and wellness benefits.

Dr. Brunner also says consequences should be clear to children who break the rules. "Give them a specific list of chores that they can choose from if they break the contract, such as doing the laundry, mowing the lawn or doing the dishes," he says. "Three evenings in a row washing the dishes can do wonders."

Talking it out.

Though Dr. Brunner sees a time when devices will automatically address screen-time limits on different devices to children at different ages, today’s parents are in “uncharted territory.”

"We're the first generation to have young kids with smartphones in their hands," he says. "We're all worried about our children losing sense of how to socially interact and are concerned about the neurological impact of too much exposure."

That makes it doubly important for parents to have an honest talk with their teens about what they use their devices for. Do they really need to spend that much time playing a game? Would their online time be better spent reading an article about something that interests them?

"My best advice is time-tested: Talk to your kids about their screen time and your concerns," Dr. Brunner says. "Establish daily periods of 1-on-1 time to sit down and have truly meaningful conversations, where they become the most important thing in your world, and they know it."

Mantente informado.

Want to learn more about healthy device usage? The Family Online Safety Insitute offers helpful and informative material on tech addiction and its effects. And be sure to check out our complete parents' guide to kids and tech on Verizon's Family Tech page today.