5 questions to ask your kids about screen-time rules

Setting screen-time rules can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to get everyone to agree. But instead of setting rigid guidelines, why not make it a conversation? Asking the right questions can lead to a discussion that will help you set rules that work for your family—while helping everyone build healthier relationships with technology.

The five simple, kid-friendly questions here—along with helpful insights from the experts—can spark that conversation and make setting screen-time rules a collaborative (and even fun) experience.

1. What rules make sense for you?

• Ask your child: “What do you think are good screen-time rules? Like no phones at dinner or stopping by bedtime?”
• Tip: Start with commonsense rules that apply to everyone, but adjust for their needs—like extra time for school projects or no screens during meals.

Here’s why: “When kids help create screen-time rules, they’re more likely to stick to them,” says Jennifer Manganello, Ph. D, a professor and health communication scholar at the University at Albany.

However, keep rewards and consequences screen-free, says Dr. Jason Nagata, an adolescent medicine specialist at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospitals. While kids are likely to be motivated by the idea of earning extra time with their tech, adjusting their screen-time allowance based on behavior—whether positive or negative— may in fact promote an unhealthy attachment to their device.

“Taking screen time away as a punishment for bad behavior, or offering it as a reward for good behavior, is associated with higher adolescent screen time and higher problematic video game use,” explains Dr. Nagata.

2. What do we use screens for in our family?

• Ask your child: “What do you like using your devices for? Games, chatting, schoolwork?”
• Tip: Make a list together of all the ways screens are used—fun, learning and connecting. Use this to decide how much time should go toward each purpose.

Here’s why: Not all screen time is equal. While your goal might be to reduce the time your kids spend on social media or playing online games, daily screen-time allotments should also leave space for the other reasons kids may use tech, such as homework, educational content or communication.

3. How do I use screens, and what do you notice?

• Ask your child: “Do you think I’m on my phone a lot? What do you think about my screen habits?”
• Tip: Stick to the rules you set—if there’s a no-phone rule during dinner, follow it yourself. Kids learn more from what you do than what you say.

Here’s why: Kids often mimic their parents’ screen habits. Dr. Nagata explains that one of the biggest predictors of adolescents’ screen use is their parents’ behavior. Modeling healthy habits—like putting your phone away during meals—reinforces the importance of the rules you set.

Some screen rules work best when they apply to everyone (such as no texting during meals or at bedtime), but kids should also be aware that these boundaries may vary somewhat among family members, based on specific needs and developmental stage.

4. Where should we have screen-free zones?

• Ask your child: “What’s one place at home where we should put our devices away? The dinner table? Bedrooms?”
• Tip: Work together to pick a screen-free zone, like the dining room or bedrooms, and stick to it. Consistency makes the agreement more effective.

Here’s why: Agreeing on screen-free spaces creates opportunities for focus, better sleep and stronger family connections. For example, no phones during mealtimes helps kids develop more mindful eating habits and improves the quality of their sleep, especially when these rules apply to everyone in your household.

5. What could we do instead of screens?

• Ask your child: “If we’re not using devices, what could we do for fun? Go outside? Play a board game?”
• Tip: Plan non-screen activities together so they have something to look forward to, like a phone-free family movie night or baking cookies.

Here’s why: Many families set screen-time limits based on what they want their children to avoid, such as the challenges with sleep, food and self-esteem that can stem from excessive tech use. But it’s also good to identify habits and skills you’d like them to gain as a result of these restrictions—such as how to contribute meaningfully to a conversation, the ability to entertain themselves without a device or greater awareness of how screen time affects them physically.

No matter what screen-time boundaries you implement in your household, they’re most likely to succeed when they’re approached as a conversation, not a conflict.

Get more insights about your child’s digital life with Verizon Family.